A Reason To Live
by Child of the Muse
Summary: A young teenaged boy is faced with the weight of the world upon his shoulders, and with no one to talk to, he gives in to the addiction and disaster, ending up in some very unexpected results. Written for the fanfiction Quidditch league competition. Prompts: 3. Danger 5. Addiction and 11. Below


**This is a hurt/comfort story and it was written for the fanfiction quidditch league competition thingy-magigy. Gigiddy! So here are the prompts I was given: **

**3. Danger 5. Addiction and 11. Below**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Some could say that Harry Potter had a danger addiction (his alcohol addiction was already popular gossip). He was always participating in events designed to get a normal person killed. But Harry Potter was no normal person.

In his first year he had been the youngest seeker to ever walk into Hogwarts in 150 years, he had almost been killed by Voldemort, and he'd braved Snape (which in his opinion was the scariest danger of all). In his second year he had to face an idiot for a defense teacher, a school full of petrified students, and everyone in the school (teachers included) thinking he was Lord Voldemort Jr.

In third year, which was especially confusing, he'd found that one of Voldemort's people, or someone who was thought to be the dark lord's, was looking for him, and that this person, Sirius Black, had killed his best friend, Peter Pettigrew. Only later did anyone find out that Sirius's X-friend, Peter Pettrigrew, was still alive and well, except for that one missing finger, and that the reason Sirius was looking for Harry was because he was Harry's Godfather. That year was hard enough not to mention the one after, in which he participated in a tournament that nearly cost him his life and actually did cost the life of a friend he'd made that year, Cedric Diggory.

He so badly wanted parents he could go to. He so badly wanted to feel his mother's arms wrapped around him or hear his father's voice telling him it was all just a dream. But he knew that was, in and of itself, the dream.

So more or less, he was already an adult. With no one to turn to and not a soul with whom to share his sorrow, he took the piss. After all, he thought he deserved a bit of compensation with all that shit he had to put up with.

To a chorus of screams, he swallowed down his last gallon of betted on beer.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"

"No! Put it down Harry! We got a lot riding on this!"

"C'mon mate! You can do it! You're close!"

One more gulp...one more gulp...one...more...

"YEAAAAAHHHH!"

"Someone spin him around!"

He felt himself getting pulled in every direction and his stomach hit his throat, but he swallowed it down. Luckily for him, this wasn't the first time he was pissed.

"Ok Harry, give the wizard his wand."

And with that, they began the wizarding version of the Muggle game pin the tail on the donkey.

He was pretty sure this wand belonged to Lavendar, seeing as she'd written her name on it. He stumbled towards her drunkenly, missing her narrowly, and falling out the window.

He never felt his bones break. He never felt himself hit the ground. He never heard the crack. His death was painless. Though it was dark, he saw light. Though it was night, he'd found the day. And in the light, he saw the last person he'd ever expect to see.

"MUM!"

He ran up to her and wrapped his arms around her. He was finally seeing his mother, who was skinner than he'd expected. She had lovely thick red hair, a kind heart shaped face, and a thin nose. They looked almost nothing alike...except for the eyes. He really did have his mother's eyes.

"Mum, I've missed you so much."

"I know, love. I've missed you too. But honey, you know you're not supposed to be here."

"Here...Uh...Mum, where am I, exactly?"

She frowned. "You're where everyone goes when they die. But you're not supposed to die. It's not yet your time."

He was confused. If it wasn't his time, than why did he die? "But I fell from-"

"Gryffindor Tower. I know. You father is very upset. I told him to influence Sirius to tell you to stop drinking. But Sirius was a chronic alcoholic at your age so he's not as susceptible to James's pleas."

He was dead. He wasn't supposed to be dead. He didn't have to deal with Voldemort anymore. His Godfather was an alcoholic. He didn't know where he was. And he was hugging his dead mother. This classified as information overload and it was enough to make anyone dizzy.

"WOAH. I think I need to sit down."

"I know; it's a lot to take in."

He didn't feel drunk anymore but he did feel tired. Drained. Lifeless. But there was light here. Wasn't this supposed to be paradise?

"I'm sorry for getting drunk. I don't want to disappoint you."

"You shouldn't be apologizing for disappointing me. You should be apologizing for disappointing yourself. You are capable of so much more than just wasting your life away Harry."

"But you don't understand mum. I have to. If I don't..."

"If you don't what?"

"He'll come."

"What do you mean 'he'?" Her voice didn't sound like she was blaming him. She was honestly trying to understand.

But how in the world was he going to explain this to his mother?

"You know those dreams I get from Voldemort?"

Tears filled her eyes and immediately she understood. Her son was being tortured. "Yes. Go on, honey."

"Well...erm...when I get drunk, it makes those dreams he sends me go away. Also, drinking is exciting. I've lived my whole life running from something so when I have nothing to run from, I want to...make excitement. Drinking is my excitement."

"I understand. You've lived a hard life," she sighed. "I never meant for your life to be this way Harry. But I sacrificed my life for you. Please don't let that sacrifice be in vain. I love you. And I just want to keep you safe. But I can't do that from here. So I need you to keep yourself safe. Talk to Severus about the dreams. He already has the remedy."

"What do you mean talk to Professor Snape?"

"You will know because he will tell you. But we can't talk about that now. There isn't enough time. You're going back and the light is already fading around you because you are not meant to be here. If you die while facing Voldemort, that is different. That is your purpose in life. In order to come back here, to this place, you must kill him first."

"But I just got here! Don't make me go back mum. I don't want to leave you."

And then he heard a knock on the door. "May I come in?"

He nodded. It was shocking to see yourself, even if it was an older version of him.

"Harry, please believe me when I say we don't want you to leave either. But as your mother said, killing him is your task in life. If you don't do it, no one will. And no one else can."

"So what do I do?"

"You go back, kick his ass, live your life, and come back here when the time is right. We'll be waiting for you Harry."

"Come here, Harry."

He felt his mothers lips touch his hair and her arms wrapped around him for the first time in fourteen years. "Darling, you don't have to live your life dangerously, or be addicted to anything, to be happy. Kill the Dark Lord. Find a girl. Get married. Have a family. You would make a great father."

"I would?"

"Yes. You don't have to live your life hurt and in pain. Remember that we love you. Through and through. And that even though you can't see us, we are watching out for you."

"Our time is almost up, Lily. He's fading."

"I know, James. One last thing Harry, and remember this clearly. Always remember that sometimes, the road to happiness is the hardest road to walk."

He began to feel his Mother's arms fading away. And he let the tears flow freely down his face.

"We love you, Harry."

"I love you, too."

When his eyes opened, he was in the hospital wing. Every part of his body was broken. But his heart was whole. He knew what he had to do.

He had started out adventursome, irresponsible, and childish. But now, he knew better. He didn't have to try to get his parents attention; he already had it. He didn't have to try to make them care for him; he was already cared for. He was adored. He was loved.

And Harry knew that even though he couldn't see his parents _now, _they were always by his side. And _that_ was a reason to really _live_.


End file.
